Friday, 28 October 2011

10 Things that will happen if China takes Cricket

China is a country that every body in the world is talking these days. It is because of the economic progress of China or it's massive export to all corners of the world or be it as the massive creditor to USA. On the other hand Cricket is played in handful countries which only run the game in their favor almost never thinking long term and expanding the game. So what will happen if 2 such opposite things meet

Chinese Pacer Wang Lei

1. Cricket will become a Global Game (In real terms)
Presently cricket is played in a handful of countries that were a part of British empire. Cricket is lucky that the population of India, Pakistan and Bangladesh is huge and the game could put some number. With China in the fold, the 2 most populous nations and the 2 more vibrant economies of the world will be playing the game. This will bring huge notice to the game and perhaps people will wonder if cricket is the secret to get economies rolling and take the game

2. Chinaman will be banned
Taking the spirit of Team Spirit and Fair Play the ICC will immediately ban Chinamen in all its form to please it's one of the 2 real master (AKA as CCA and BCCI). Any spinner found to have the illegal action of Chinamen will run the risk of being banned for life.

3. Cheap cricket equipments
A new variety of USE and THROW cricket bat, pads, wickets etc will hit the market. Go for a outing, play and dispose of the equipment. Next time on the way buy one. Austria will be using anti dumping laws against China because some Chinese Gentlemen mistook Austria as Australia and exported 20 M use and throw kits there.

4. Cricket in Olympics
ICC will say no but IOC will be after them and unilaterally include the grand sport of cricket. They will not be able to ignore the fact that the game of India and China is not there and is rendering whole Olympic movement useless. Also adding this game they will be able to add roughly 40% humanity to it's viewership.

5. CPL
The BCCI will be under dilemma with Club V Country debate as players will be rebelling against the board to play in CPL. Sri Lanka, New Zealand will disband their teams for the bilateral tours and keep them just for the world cup's. They will be hailed as they would have allowed players to play in CPL in return for 10% match fee. 

6. Red ball is Disbanded
The  ball in red is not liked by CCA as it means the great communist red color in form of ball goes into mud, soil and it is considered as disgrace to communism. This after much debate like the DRS, the red ball was made optional and then finally completely disbanded

7. Cricket is the Buzz word
One is the second largest economy and growing at 10%, other is in top 6 and also growing at 9%. Is Cricket the reason. As Kung Fu for China and Yoga for India was the mystic thing, the new thing will be cricket and the real expansion of cricket will start

8. "No balls" will increase
Imagine Walsh balling to a Chinese player No Hu who is 5 feet tall. Rather than focussing on line and length the main focus will be on the bounce of the ball. Even a simple ball can become a no ball. The other boards will be really wanting to increase bouncer in over from 2 to 4 but due to threat of China not touring they will not be opposing. After all money matters

9. Cold war in Cricket
People will be reminded of olden times with a cold war in cricket. On one side would be CCA who will be partnered by PCB, BCB, SLC, ZC and other side we would have the Anglo Indian block lead by BCCI, ECB along with CA, NZC, CI and perhaps a non aligned block like NAM with CSA and WICB a part of it. The security council will have the big 4 with CCA, BCCI, ECB and CA and veto from one of them would mean that decision not possible. Will it help cricket to be expanded, I really don't know

10. "Ho Wus Dat" Situation
Chinese pacer Ho Wus Dat would severely resist people calling his name again and again (Howzat) and complain to CCA. Perhaps many such situations will keep coming and  many Ho Wus Dat words will have to be removed from Cricket Vocabulary.

Personally all jokes aside I really want China to come in the game. It will do the game sea of good and really good for the Associate countries. Let's hope that by 2015 we see a strong Chinese team coming up

This article has been written all in humor and if I unintentionally end up hurting some feeling I apologize for the same :).

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